I had gone to Town Center Montessori to pick up my lil' bro Big M, only he wasn't there; it was the date of the big basketball tournament at some other school and nobody had thought to tell me. Peeved, since I had driven all the way there in horrible weather conditions, I left.
Minutes after leaving the school, the back wheels of my parents' Buick Rendezvous lose traction and I start sliding to the left into oncoming traffic. I turn the steering wheel slightly to the right, like they teach you in driving school, but the car keeps sliding left. Instantly, before I realize, I panic and jerk the wheel hard all the way to the right. Now the car decides to respond, and spins sharply to the right and off the road. The front slams into a tree and a hit my head on the driver side window. An old Destiny's Child song bumps through the speakers.
I sit there in disbelief as the song continues to play. Without getting out I know that there's going to be damage; it was a hard collision. One car passes me. Then another. The next one slows, but ultimately decides not to stop. I get out of the car and groan: there's a gigantic dent in the side of the car, right between the driver's door and the front wheel. It's a nasty one.
For some reason I had decided to leave my cellphone at home.
To shaken and emotionally crushed to even curse, I get back into the car, bust a three-point turn and drive home. The steering is off; I have to turn the wheel almost 90 degrees to the right just to keep driving straight.
I get home and tell dad, who's been sick all week with the flu, literally bed-ridden. He comes out and checks the damage. He laments, but overall does a good job of not eating my head off. All the same, I break down and cry; the guilt is too much. The last thing he had told me before I left home was to be careful, and I go and crash the car. A disappointment, a let-down. I weep, and for the first time in m life, my dad comes over and hugs me and comforts me while I stood there crying. I want to say that I'm sorry. For the car, but more importantly for not becoming the successful son he thought I was going to be, the big-time biochemist working on a cure for cancer -- not some dude working the graveyard shift at a call center. That's where most of the guilt is coming from. I want to apologize for this most of all, but I'm crying to hard to speak. I hold my dad fiercely, desperately as I cry into his coat.
I eventually gather myself and mumble something about going to the bank. I walk 30 min in the blizzard and withdraw almost my entire savings. The teller probably thought I stole the bank card from Mr. Carter and was jacking him for all he was worth. I didn't care. I put the money in an envelope and walk the 30 minutes back home. When I get back, my dad isn't home, but my mom is; I give the $1200 to her and explain to her why I'm doing it. She turns to ice. I go and fix the wireless network.
Well, at least I have the next episode of Lost to distract me.
So today was FINALLY the first day of Dungeons & Dragons play, and I really didn't know what to expect. I had no idea how to play and how things were to proceed. I basically was going in blind and operating on faith. Overall, it was a fresh, exciting experience, more so than I had believed possible. We really got into it. My character is a 6'5", 260-lb half-orc tank named Oxx. He's been enslaved by a village his entire life (16 years) and has just fought back and slaughtered practically the entire town. I'd get into the story, but it'd take forever....maybe some other time. :P
We've played twice this week and already Oxx is kick-ass. His scythe deals out a ridiculous amount of damage, and his strength is off the charts, baby! Lovin' it.
We won't be playing again until next week, since not everyone will be in the office at the same time until Tuesday night. Just as well; we've just completed our first dungeon and are on our way to the closest village. Our dungeon master hadn't set that up yet, so it's good that he'll have several days in order to do that.
I just want to say right off the bat that I apologize if every one of my posts ends up being about Joan of Arc. It's just that right now she seems to be such an important part of my life, though I highly doubt that she knows it. I wouldn't be surprised if I was in love with her. I definitely know that I want to be in love with her.
Anyway, the week that was came to a satisfyingly relaxing conclusion yesterday, which was great. On Friday we had a youth group meeting, where the youth were able to vent over the recent trials and tribulations that we all have been caught up in within our church. Without getting into it, the fact is that there is a war going on within our parish. Surprising at it may sound, it is fact, and it scares me and depresses me that this shit can be going on in the house of God, you know? We should all be getting along, but instead such bitterness, animosity, and hatred can flow between different parties. Joan and I had already decided between the two of us that we wouldn't take sides and try to be mediators, but in doing so both sides think that we are against them. It's hard being in the middle.
It was primarily why I was so tired this week; I was exhausted with all the fighting. At the end of the youth group meeting, we were able to talk briefly about relationships (which is actually what we were supposed to talk about that evening lol), and Joan got really excited that her and I had so much in common when it came to what we wanted in , and what we brought to, a relationship. Pretty awesome, but again I had no idea how to take advantage of the situation. I know, I know....I seriously need help!
I needed to blow off some steam, so on Saturday I finally was able to reach what had become my regular weekend chill spot, Smokey Joe's. I hadn't got on a dance floor in months, and for a second I thought that I had lost my rhythm. Lucky for me, I hadn't and I danced the night away. A lot of my Smokey Joe friends were there, so it was a blast! I was able to sleep for most of the day Sunday for a change, and I was able to go to work refreshed! A big change from last week.
All in all, things are looking up I guess, so I hope they just continue to improve.
BLOG PLAYLIST "Diary" - Alicia Keys feat. Tony Toni Tone "Presidential MC" - Method Man feat. Raekwon & RZA "Snow (Hey Oh)" - Red Hot Chili Peppers "If I Ever Fall in Love Again (a capella)" - Shai "Find Out" - Classified
Okay, so today is Thursday, and I can't think of any other time where I was this happy for Friday to be right around the corner. Usually the third week in a month is hectic with meetings and such, but this month has been just ridiculous!
Problems started on Sunday with the annual Vestry meeting after church. It was so freakin' crazy that I took me a couple of days to fully comprehend everything that happened, hence why I haven't blogged about it yet. Thing is that there's been a heckuva lot of fallout from the meeting, and I'm still trying to do clean-up as we speak. Overall, the experience has been incredibly draining.
If that was the only thing that had happened this week, I would have been able to manage (just barely, but I could've done it). However, I had another meeting on Tuesday, and another one at Wednesday, both of which were also church-related. And in both cases, the events of Vestry inevitably arose in conversation, and tempers flared. And here I am, lucky me, caught right in the middle. It's freakin' church; I don't want to take sides -- that's not what church is supposed to be all about. Instead I have the almost impossible task of trying to keep everyone appeased while trying to solve the larger issue almost single-handedly. Fun!
Along the way, I kind of forgot to sleep: I haven't had more than 4 hours of sleep since Sunday. Last night of work I couldn't function and made so many mistakes I thought I was going to lose my job right then and there. Shit, I still feel like my job is in jeopardy; a total of 4 people lost their jobs in the last week, so I'm sweating bullets after last night's performance.
I'm. So. Tired. Of everything. Didn't help that I had to watch My Competition suavely move in on Joan during the Wednesday meeting. Fuck, man. Need sleep. Need to get away....!
BLOG PLAYLIST "Romancipation" - Musiq Soulchild "What We Do" - Freeway feat. Jay-Z & Beanie Sigel "Soulstar" - Musiq Soulchild "Drive It Like I Stole It" - Apathy "Right About Now" - Talib Kweli "Wild For The Night" - Rampage feat. Busta Rhymes "No Transitory" - Alexisonfire "Say" - Method Man feat. Lauryn Hill "Supreme Supreme" - Black Star "Are We Cuttin'" - Pastor Troy feat. Ms. Jade
I have the bad luck of being interested in too many things, and a person can really only focus on a few things at once. As such, I tend to rotate the activities and hobbies I partake in every year or so. Right now, it's screenwriting and movies in general, as well as youth group.
Recently, however, I've started to delve back into one of my other major hobbies: music. It started when I was approached by a few of my co-workers who also are musicians, suggesting that we all put our heads together and collaborate for some awesome stuff. I was all in, but the truth is that I haven't touched my music in over a year. I completed an album back in November of 2006 and haven't really done anything since. I had lost my music program when we re-formated our computer and since I didn't have any way to regain it, I turned my attentions elsewhere.
Well, thanks to my new, ridiculously awesome E500, I was able to get my hands on the program again: Propellerhead Reason 4.0. Now I had used version 3.0 in the past, so I was excited to see what this new version brought to the table. Imagine how dismayed I was when I realized how much of an effect one year of standing on the sidelines can have. Not only have I not done any production in over a year, but I haven't done any song-writing in that span of time as well. As a result, I'm EXTREMELY rusty -- so far my attempts at both have been laughable, and frankly very embarrassing. I just hope I can get to the level I had been at when I stopped...!
In any case, I'm very very very excited!
P.S. This doesn't mean screenwriting and film school is going to the back burner; I'm still actively writing both scripts I'm working on at the moment :) yay!
BLOG PLAYLIST "Where You Gonna Run" - Talib Kweli & Jean Grae "What Happened to that Boy" - Baby feat. The Clipse "Whereareyougoing" - Musiq Soulchild
Ever since it came to my attention that my film school dream would be postponed, I've drifted into a listless cycle of monotony. It's gotten to the point where I've started to randomly blank out for up to 5 minutes at a time, then I'll snap back to reality and realize that I'd been whispering the lyrics to some rock song.
In any case, due to this monotonous spell, my emotional high has subsequently expired. I don't know if it's pessimism or realism, but I'm seeing the world through a different set of glasses, and they're definitely not rose-coloured this time around. My confidence in my pursuit of Joan of Arc has all but completely evaporated. I discovered on Sunday that I have competition, and that this competition is very stiff. I'm not much of a fighter when it comes to these kinda things, so thus circumstances don't look so good.
Winter has really hit hard in the last week or so. Last week Thursday we were hit with a ridiculously debilitating snowstorm that pretty much froze the city (pun somewhat intended). Buses were unable to run, and thus I got a day off work (woo hoo!). Overall, a total of almost 30 centimetres (~ 1 ft) of snow fell during that 24 hour period. Yesterday, we were hit with another storm, this one dropping about 15 cm. On top of all that, temperatures have dipped to as low as -30 degrees Celsius, which is the coldest it's been for a while now in Toronto.
I dunno, I kinda feel that everything right now is in winter mode. Nothing is happening, and everything just feels lifeless. I think that's why I've started to blank out every now and then; why pay attention when you know there is nothing worth paying attention to?
BLOG PLAYLIST "Wicked Ways" - Lord Have Mercy "Luchini" - Camp Lo "Pimpin' Life" - Big Black Lincoln "Vibrant Thing" - Q-Tip "Womanopoly" - Musiq Soulchild "Body Language"- Saukrates feat. Choclair "Terrorist" - RZA feat. Black Knights & Killarmy "Time Is Right" - Talib Kweli & Madlib
Not sure if I mentioned this in before, but the orientation for film school was to be held today at 11 am, but due to circumstance this isn't going to happen. A couple of days ago, I received a call and email from Ed@trebas (lol that's what I call him) that due to the lack of enrollment the class will be postponed until June 2008.
I was REALLY looking forward to today and February 11th (the start date), but as it stands, it looks like I'll wait a little bit longer. The biggest problem, though, is my OSAP. It was set to be released on the 11th, but now that the class isn't starting until June 2008, will I have to apply all over again? Will my empoyment up to that point affect how much I receive? Sigh.
Well, all things considered things could be a lot worse :P At least I got a sweet laptop in the meantime!
BLOG PLAYLIST "Sexual Eruption (Sensual Seduction)" - Snoop Dogg "Blurry" - Puddle of Mudd "What Happened to that Boy" - Baby feat. The Clipse
I usually don't bother with this stuff, but I had the strangest dream last night. It wasn't necessarily dark or nightmarish, but it was highly unsettling all the same. I can't exactly remember where I was, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't all too relevant. The important part was that there was a huge tent, and whenever I would go into this tent (again, I can't remember why I needed to go into this tent so often, other than there was a person I wanted to see that resided in it) I'd start having to pull chicken bones out of my eyes. It was incredibly bizarre and a little chilling. All of a sudden, as soon as I'd go into the tent, my eyes would start feeling weird, and I'd need to pull chicken bones out of them.
There were several other people inside the tent, which was about the size of a basketball court, and it was full of either sewing machines or washer/dryer combos, not too sure which. Anyway, I was going in and out of this tent, and it got to the point where these two women began watching me, and they would laugh whenever I began crying chicken bones. After this happened a couple of times, my right eye starting irritating me to an unbearable degree: a small piece of bone had gotten stuck. It got to the point where I started trying to pry it out using a pocket knife (the one I bought while I was in Winnipeg several years ago...I have since lost it).
That's all I can remember; it wasn't distrubing while I was dreaming it, but the more I think about it, the more unsettling it seems. Crying out chicken bones? Seriously, man, that's a big WTF. I really don't put much stock in the whole interpretation thing, but I might have to check it out for this doozy of a dream.
