------ "...it is finished..." -- John 19:30 ------

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

ENTRY 22: Broken Glass, Everywhere I

Today was a day that resounded with a brutal realization.

I looked at my Daunting List and jumped into it head-first. I was going to get things done, goddammit! I had come home from work, checked my e-mail, got breakfast, stretched my arms and got to work. I was going to first call the Toronto Film College and inquire as to what the next steps were in order to get accepted into the institution. As I was perusing my emails for the relevant phone number, I was talking to a friend online about what I was planning on doing school-wise. She told me, just as I found the college's phone number, that one of her friends had gone to the TFC, but 2 years later was still working at Burger King.

My heart dropped like lead in a fish tank. Denial tried to build a fortress but it was quickly, effortlessly, and efficiently torn down by despair. In a daze I got up from the computer, walked into my room and sagged down on my bed. Was this it? Was this what was in store for me? Should I even bother? At this point, despair started making way for persistence and courage. I picked up the phone. I was NOT going to be like Mr. Burger King. I will PERSIST; I will PREVAIL. There was NO WAY some horror story was going to stop me from realizing my dream.

I called the number.

Operator (tired; indifferent): Hello, thank you for calling the Toronto Film School.
Me (embarrassed): Oh, I'm sorry...I thought this was the Toronto Film College.**
Operator (irritated): They're the same thing.
Me (embarrassed): Oh...oh, ok. Well I had completed your online application and received this number in a responding email.
Operator (indifferent): Right.
Me (apprehensive): Yeah, so I was wondering what the next steps in the application process were.
Operator (indifferent): Well, actually sir the Toronto Film School is closing its doors in 2009, so we're not taking on any more students.
Me (heartbroken): ....Oh.
Operator (indifferent): Take care, sir. Good-bye.
*click*
Me (heartbroken): Good-bye...

And that was that. In an instant my entire dream came crashing down around me. The utter silence in the house was deafening, unbearable, yet I dared not disturb it by making a sound. Moments later, however, I did; I lay down in my bed and cried myself to sleep.

Labels: dream, film school

finished by Carter @ 1:30 AM

2 Finished Comments:

At December 19, 2007 6:18 AM, Anonymous said…

There are other --credible colleges and education institutions that offer film and cinematography courses!Dont give up that fast....
At December 19, 2007 11:09 PM, Llama said…

What can I say... that does suck. But I'm sure there will be other places that will be glad to have you.