------ "...it is finished..." -- John 19:30 ------

Monday, December 03, 2007

ENTRY 10: Buckling Down & Breaking Down

Winter is truly upon us; when I left for work this evening the snow was coming down in huge whiet clumps that looked like entire dandelion heads. The sky looked like God was shaking his infinite head of infinite hair and was in desperate need of some Pert Plus or Selsum Blue. There are times when the snowfall can have a harrowing and overly depressing effect on one's soul; there are other times, when it falls lazily and almost majestically, when the snow can be calming, tranquil and serene. Tonight was one of those serene nights for sure...add to this the startling contrast between the black sky and white flakes, and you make for breathtaking scenery. It definitely got me in the right mood for work.

I've really been on my younger brother's ass recently about his schoolwork. He has three tests coming up (two of which he will be missing -- more on that later), the first of which is science. He seems to have a singular problem with science: it's not so much that he doesn't understand the concepts, it's more than he has trouble articulating them into coherent phrases. As I've mentioned before, I've started noticing Big M moving away from the academics and focusing ~80% of his energy either on athletics, comic books, or video games, and I wanted to actively try and reverse this before he begins slipping farther down into this apparent Native Son (ie N####r) Stereotype.

His teachers at school are beginning to treat him like a problem child, even though he has no history of class disruption; he'll get a stern penalty for something as trivial as accidently burping out loud or whistling a tune. He gets pegged as a D student by other teachers even though to the best of my knowledge before this year he's never gotten a D on a report card in his life. The best thing many of them can stress during parent-teacher interviews is how good he is a basketball (and he isn't even that good), rather than focusing on other things like his exceptional spelling test marks. With all this and more, I am almost completely convinced that Big M is beginning to internalize.

I am partly to blame, unfortunately. My bro's classmates, since late last year, have had this notion that I am some sort of gangster. I should have quelled these statements immediately, nipped them in the butt, as it were. However, I was somewhat mystified, flattered even, that I somehow embodied the "Super-cool Older Brother" archetype -- or at the very least a variation of such. I am sure that my supposed "gangster" image has added to Big M's internalization, and this is a major reason why I have decided to try to break down and reverse this phenomenon. Penance.

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I mentioned before how Big M may be missing 2 of his 3 imminent tests. Turns out that my parents and him are going on vaction. I don't know where they are going, I don't know when they are going (must be pretty soon though), and I have no idea how long they are going for. I have not been informed about this and I don't plan on asking any questions. I only found out because Big M opens his notoriously big mouth:

Mom: Make sure you study for that science test for Tuesday. And don't you have other tests as well? Make sure to study for those too!
Big M (and his big mouth): But aren't we not going to be here for those two?
(short awkward silence)
Mom: I want you to study for them anyway!
Big M (who can't take a hint to shut up): But we won't be here!
Mom: JUST DO IT!
**end of conversation**

I kept my mouth throughout this exchange; this was something they had deliberately kept from me, so if it was something they didn't want me to know about I wasn't about to start asking questions now. The next day my mom started mentioning something about possibly looking for another ticket, but again I kept my mouth shut; I don't intend on inquiring unless they full out come and tell me what the heck is going on. Anyway, that's the sitch.

Labels: brother, family, parents, school, secret, stereotypes, vacation

finished by Carter @ 11:56 PM

1 Finished Comments:

At December 06, 2007 7:10 AM, Llama said…

I read and re-read and re-re-read the first paragraph about the snowflakes. I've never managed to see any snow -- living in the tropics you see. But you really made the snowflakes come alive for me. Lovely!